Building Bridges

EnVision at 27: Part 5 of 9

Posted on by Irene Stern Frielich

WHAT I WISH I KNEW #2: Examine Others’ Intentions

Last month I shared three examples about What I Wish I Knew #1: Don’t Confuse Activity with Progress. In this post, I reflect on situations when my optimism outpaced my due diligence. I wish I had known to pause and explore others’ intentions before agreeing to partner. Here are some key lessons those experiences taught me.

  1. BE CLEAR ABOUT EXPECTATIONS: Early on, I engaged a consultant whom I hadn’t realized was seeking full-time employment while temporarily filling her time with gig work. Many people do that; there’s nothing wrong with that. But that engagement ended poorly for me when she left mid-gig, leaving me to finish up the work. I hadn’t asked the obvious-to-me-now question: Are you seeking full-time employment, or are you committed to freelancing? There are a few follow-up questions to confirm their commitment, and now I clearly state that I am only looking for committed freelancers. In retrospect, this feels like such a rookie mistake. This blunder taught me to be clear about my expectations.
  2. CURATE and ASK QUESTIONS: Similarly, I’ve had a handful of seemingly interested prospects for meaty projects. I had spent many, many hours preparing a thoughtful and thorough statement of work for them. Then, crickets. Were these “prospects” not serious about the project? Were they fishing for information helpful to their own endeavor? Now, I have a list of questions I ask prospects at the start, such as “once it’s completed, how will you know this project has been successful?” That way, I can be sure the project is “real,” worth my time, and something I can do very well for the client. Yep, I wish I knew that sooner!
  3. DON’T IGNORE THE “OFF” FEELING: If something doesn’t feel right, I’ve learned to trust my gut! In one project about 25 years ago, I had an almost constant knot in my stomach. I trudged through, delivering on whatever the client asked for. I didn’t push back or ask questions. It finally came out that other partner consultants weren’t delivering. Much of their work ended up falling on me. Had I probed, I might have uncovered the issue sooner and found ways to protect my time and energy rather than overworking myself to please the client.

What are some situations in which you’ll pause and reflect before jumping in? What are the questions you might ask of yourself or others in those situations?